E2 Bye Bye

By Michael J. Legeros

Friends, I'm pleased to report that the Elvismobile has left the
building.  Like the blue Mustang before it, the red Tempo with the
fuzzy dice-- a vehicle that once graced the lands of Graceland--
has been put to pasture.  (Actually, it's for sale on the 'net.
CarMax offered the kingly sum of $350, to which I replied nothank-
youverymuch.  But you can have it for a mere eight fifty...)  Gone,
too, are the tags; you won't see SAWELVIS anymore.  Opting for a
bigger, heavier, bluesier mobile, the Third Car I've Ever Owned in
My Life is a late-model Taurus, royal blue, with four doors, two
air-bags, and enough power accessories to make me feel more than a
*little* embarrassed at owning such extravagance.  (Since I wanted
something that looked like a cop car, my choices numbered all of
three:  Taurus, Caprice, or Crown Vic.  And all of 'em are powered
from the door locks on down.)

The big day was Friday, the lunch hour of which was spent stripping
the E-mobile of its many Mike Items:  a dash-mounted compass, an
under-dash warning buzzer, a pair of scanners, a hump-mounted ex-
ternal speaker, a trunk-mounted CB antenna, a tarnished license
plate protector, and the requisite pair of fuzzy, but faded, dice.
(Braving the back seat, I discovered a pair of binoculars, a paper-
back copy of Stephen King's "Nightmare and Dreamscapes," gardening
gloves, a half-dozen ball-point pens, 50 or so cassette tapes, a
baseball bat-size "peacemaker," a large plastic trash container, a
copy of "The Elements of Style," a pair of unused cowboy boot in-
soles, two towels, a dozen twisty-ties, and approximately $2.33 in
loose change.  Not bad, for four years and 92,000 miles worth of
accumulated crap.)

The actual acquisition-- at said superstore in West Raleigh-- went
smoothly, though slowly.  Title check here, repair order there;
check the tires, wash the windows; attach my pewter North Carolina
State plate and find the five-digit number that opens the driver's
door.  (Ask for Therese, the salesperson who so ably assisted Yours
Truly.  She'll set you straight.)  By late Friday afternoon-- and
just in time for rush hour-- I was riding in style, in a dent-free,
dirt-free, imminent-danger-of-breakdown-free ride.  There's even
enough room to haul both my drums *and* a passenger, should I be
booked to perform in any venues larger than my spare bedroom.  So,
friends, keep an eye on the highways, byways, and back alleys-- the
Bluesmobile may be cruising a side-street near you.  The new tags
are due to arrive any day now:  634-5789.  When you feel alone, all
you gotta do is pick up the telephone...

Copyright 1998 by Michael J. Legeros