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                  Living Hell - Volume #1, Issue #14

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Extra Extra
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A.S.S.
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With apologies to Neal Boortz, the radio host who coined the term,
you may be suffering from Anthrax Stress Syndrome if...

  o you've started hoarding canned food, bottled water, or
    shrink-wrapped toilet paper

  o you panic when someone spills sugar, talcum powder, or
    confetti

  o you flee your local record store after accidentally
    browsing the heavy metal titles (see: Anthrax, the
    band)

  o you're taking antibiotics, just in case

  o you're *prescribing* antibiotics, just in case

  o cold?  Flu?  Hay-fever?  Two words:  Emergency room

  o you dial 911 at skyward sight of U.S. Army Golden
    Knights parachute team spraying red fog (true story)

  o you faint upon hearing one or more of the following:

    "spore"
    "spores"
    "spore count"
    "nasal swab"
    "Cipro"
    "Daschle"
    "bio-terror"
    "bio-warfare"
    "epidemiologist"
    "skin lesion"
    "mail room"
    "letter carrier"
    "white powder"
    "inhalation form"
    "assistant to Dan Rather"


Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros

 

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