Mikey Buffet

By Michael J. Legeros

Due to circumstances entirely within my control, I ate Thanks-
giving dinner alone this year.  Or, more accurately, alone but
within close proximity to a hundred-or-so strangers at Golden
Corral #575 in North Raleigh.  Having spent most of the morning
addressing Christmas cards-- "Hello cards!"-- I arrived at what
I *thought* was an early 11:30 and discovered a line.  No prob-
lem.  I wasn't going anywhere.  And, I had a newspaper.  *And*,
I had my notepad, brought to jot the full breadth of this very
special, all-you-can-stuff-your-face-with holiday feast.  So,
for those who missed it, here's what $9.82 (tax and Diet Coke
included) bought on the day before Shopping Day:

** Denotes Item Eaten


Salad Bar
=========

  o lettuce
  o spinach leaves
  o cheery tomatoes (they sure *looked* happy!)
  o green peppers
  o onions
  o cucumbers
  o carrots
  o beanie baby sprouts
  o mushrooms
  o cauliflower
  o Albert Broccoli
  o pepperoni
  o egg (didn't get any on my face)
  o pink meat, sliced
  o more-white-than-pink meat, sliced
  o pickles
  o cheese-of-some-sort
  o black olives
  o pickles again, but sliced differently
  o green olives
  o eight kinds of dressing, from white- to salmon-colored
  o croutons
  o crackers (three types)


Caesar Salad Bar
================

(Complete with wrinkly woman sitting next to it, smoking *and*
 hacking...)

  o Romaine Calm lettuce (sprinkled with cheese)
  o hot peppers
  o yucky tuna-or-chicken-salad-looking substance
  o four other cold salads (potato, pasta, etc.)
  o lemon wedges
  o tar-tar sauce
  o mystery sauce, presumably seafood-going


Fruit Bar
=========

  o diced green melon
  o diced orange melon
  o whole red grapes
  o whole pineapple chunks
  o sliced peaches
  o sliced pears (or, at least... pear apparent)
  o cottage cheese


Entree Line
===========

  o fried chicken **
  o small round fried things
  o whole, canned-looking corn
  o "awesome" pot roast (their words)
  o brown gravy
  o stuffing
  o mashed potatoes **
  o sweet potatoes (marshy, but mellow)
  o macaroni and cheese
  o black-eyed peas
  o green beans
  o squash (not the game)
  o cooked carrots
  o stewed apples, though I wouldn't say that to their face
  o roast turkey sliced-to-order **
  o roast ham sliced-to-order


Bakery
======

  o blueberry muffins
  o fruit bread-of-some-sort, glazed
  o yeast rolls **
  o brownies
  o brownie-sized non-brownies
  o chocolate-chip cookies **
  o raisin-containing cookies (bleech)
  o pizza-with-meat


Dessert Bar
===========

  o pie, either sweet potato or pumpkin (couldn't tell)
  o apple spice cake
  o chocolate-frosted yellow cake
  o two types of puddings
  o four kinds of messy pan desserts containing cake
  o frozen yogurt, with the following toppings:
    - gummy bears
    - hot chocolate
    - yogurt-covered small round things
    - chocolate-covered small round things
    - chopped peanuts
    - imitation M & M's
    - orange gum drops (untouched)
    - more chocolate-covered small round things
    - whipped cream
    - pulverized strawberries


Hot Bar
=======

  o soups times two (Cape Cod Clam Chowder, no doubt imported
    fresh that morning, and Timberline Chili)
  o baked potatoes with six toppings:  sour cream, cheddar
    cheese, butter, bacon bits, onions, and something red 'n'
    runny.  Salsa?  No thanks, but I wouldn't mind a Mambo!

Copyright 1999 Michael J. Legeros