|legeros.com > Writing > K-i-s-s-i-n-g|
"First comes love, then comes marriage..." - rhyme The greatest obstacle that a man must overcome in his lifetime? I vote for the goodnight kiss. Guys, you know the score: no matter her name, her face, what you've done, or where you've been, you're supposed to at least *attempt* a little lip action. You know, plant one firmly... The Kiss usually occurs at the end of the evening and, most often, on the first or second date. Under select circumstances, said smooch can occur as late as the fifth or sixth date. At some point, though, the pucker ante must be raised. And that's where the sweat hits the palms. Why is k-i-s-s-i-n-g so gut-wrenching for guys? We can swap spit on the dance floor without a second thought. We can stand a one- night stand with no greater difficulty than crossing the street. So what's the problem with a polite good-nighter? I suspect the chief suspects are Impression and Obligation. Let's face it: we want to look good. We want to leave a favorable impression. The problem is that we've been taught one hard and fast rule: every woman expects some sugar. Period. If we don't try, we're wimps. If we shake hands, we're losers. And, if we cheat and try to talk about it, we're labeled with the most terrible title of all: unro- mantic. So goes the modern man's dilemma: obligated to make a minor play for every woman he goes out with. Guidance in this matter would be most helpful, but, alas, there are no rules or even *hints* toward the completion of this task. We're men's men; we want to be our- selves and, really, what guy in their right mind would fear a sim- ple kiss? That same kiss gets doled out to family members without a second thought. That same kiss is flung like confetti when in a committed relationship. And, yet tonight, we can barely bring our- selves within striking distance. Perhaps the dating world should resort to the conventions of old, with kissing permitted only on the hand or cheek. Mouth to mouth would be verboten until marriage, though *some* exceptions would have to be made: puckering might be permitted in bars, while danc- ing, or during sexual encounters. For us guys, though, this would be the treat of all treats. We could bring our dates home, secure in the knowledge that our only obligation was a gentle kiss on the lady's hand. Hmmmmmm. Remind me again what's so tough about sim- ple smooch? Copyright 1996 by Michael J. Legeros
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Copyright 2019 by Michael J. Legeros