Nameology

By Michael J. Legeros

A maroon-colored, zig zag-patterned, printed polyester bedspread
spread across a sunken, spongy, full-sized mattress.  A brown up-
holstered chair with snot-green striping, carbon-dated circa 1960
or earlier.  Pictures bolted to the wall.  No phone.  The motel
room measures ten by ten, with an adjacent alcove about four feet
deep and a folding door that leads to... the bathroom.  Resting on
the desk: an ashtray and Bible.  Resting *above* the desk: a wall-
mounted, fourteen-inch, presumably color television.  The front
door is protected by both a locking deadbolt and a framed copy of
Psalm 29.  The room is cooled by a window unit mounted three feet
above the floor, in a hole cut in the exterior wall.  Late-night
noise and seeping cigarette smoke are provided at no extra charge.
This is where I awoke on Sunday morning, the second day after my
35th birthday, at the $40/night "Martha Anne Inn" on Highway 17,
somewhere between Wilmington and Jacksonville, N.C.  No, no hook-
ers were involved.  Driving back to Wilmington and subsequently
Southport, my travel companion and I noted the following amusing,
Very Southern (VS) street names.  I reprint them here for *your*
enjoyment:

  o Cornelius Harnett Rd.
  o Olde Towne Wynd Dr.
  o Dosher Cut-Off Rd.
  o Nashville East Rd.
  o Jabbertown Road
  o Big Bear Hollow
  o Coon Hunter Rd.
  o Big Buck Trail
  o Horneplace Dr.
  o Swartville Rd.
  o Gladiolus Rd.
  o Mellaney Ln.
  o Crofters Ct.
  o Crowatan Rd.
  o Jel Wade Dr.
  o Lord Street (near God Lane?)
  o W. West St.
  o Arlene Rd.
  o J.R.'s Ln.
  o Rabon Way
  o Kerr Ave. (pronounced "Car," of course)
  o Rhett St.
  o Short St. (it was!)
  o Chair Rd.


Plus one memorable sign for

  o 25 Hr. Wrecker Service


Copyright 2000 by Michael J. Legeros