How to Pick a Movie Theater

With so much opinion on lousy theaters, I guess I should clarify my
opinions of "good moviegoing." Or, if you prefer, which theaters *not*
to avoid.

Of course, the best triangle (or, at least, Raleigh/Cary) moviegoing
experience depends on several factors. And personal tastes.

DISCLAIMER:   These opinions are based on the idea that a movie theater
              is, primarily, a place to watch and appreciate movies.
              Thus, any resemblance between the author and characters in
              GRUMPY OLD MEN, THE GRINCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS, or THE
              CAT THAT HATED PEOPLE are purely coincidental. :)


I.  Physical Film Quality

    Each time a film is shown, the physical quality deteriorates. No
    duh. To beat this problem, avoid second-run theaters like the
    plague.  For first-run fans, do what I do: attend ASAP preferably
    on the opening weekend.

    "Art films" frequently suffer from this problem.  Raleigh/Durham
    *rarely* gets first-crack at films like THE PIANO or THE SNAPPER.
    To make matters worse, The Rialto doesn't exactly have a world-class
    sight/sound system to begin with...

    NOTE:  There can be a discrepancy between Friday and Saturday
           showings of a new release. If a film is expected to do
           big business, it'll be shown on the "better" screen. But
           if Friday night is lousy, it can get bumped to a smaller
           screen. And the same holds true for "sleepers" that
           can go from small screen to large.


II.  Audience Participation or Lack Thereof

     For me, an empty theater is heaven. Thus, I avoid nighttime
     showings unless I have passes. Seeing a film on the first days of
     release is a good way to counteract this problem, when the film has
     not generated enough word of mouth to attract an audience.

     Nothing is finer than to sit alone, on a Friday matinee, because no
     one else has heard of the film you're watching.

     (Midweek matinees are also good-- when everyone else, including
      yours truly, is at work.)

     Certain types of films in certain areas attract different audiences
     as well. The crowd at the Rialto is, mostly likely, going to behave
     differently than the crowd at The Tower Twin. Just as patrons of
     MRS. DOUBTFIRE, most likely, act differently than patrons of THE
     REMAINS OF THE DAY.

     I caution against viewing comedies in crowded theaters. As everyone
     knows, a full house of laughter tends to drown other subsequent
     funny lines. And, alas, not all humor is physical.  Though, I think
     *any* showing of SCHINDLER'S LIST is a fairly safe haven from those
     who are inclined to talk back to the screen. :)

     NOTE:  For children's or teen-appeal films. Reverse my theory and
            see it at night. During the week and, obviously, for the
            last show.  Crying babies and cooing kids don't make movies
            magic. 'Nuff said.


III.  Projection and Sound

      No one can predict a film break. Or a bulb burn-out. But you *can*
      track repeat offenders in other areas. Like focus. And sound.

      Getting into focus seems to be the biggest problem in area
      theaters.  There's *already* a "Panavision Problem," which was
      described to me as such:

             some films arrive in a "wide screen" format
             and the lens in the projectors in area theaters
             are *incapable* of complete focus.

      I saw HOOK four times in four theaters in Raleigh and it was
      *never* in complete focus.

      I've also been told that the *same* person services all projectors
      and lens in all theaters in Raleigh and Cary (among other area
      cities). Which may contribute to the "Panavision Problem."

      As for the focus on the "rest of the stuff," there are still
      plenty of problems. Projectionists seem unwilling to take the time
      to focus *all* aspects of the projected image. Foreground,
      background, and everywhere in between.

      The best clue are the credits. If *any* portion of the title and
      credits are out of focus, go see the management. Ditto for the
      trailers. Ditto, if they have wrong proportioned lens on and
      everything onscreen seems squished or elongated. Ditto if there
      are "streaks" from the brighter images.

      Sound advice is such: if the sound sucks, tell them.  Since
      trailers are not in "Dolby," the wide-sound often kicks in a few
      minutes after the film does.  And sometimes it doesn't. And,
      sometimes, there's a blown speaker or a sound-system
      overmodulating.


IV.  Management

     If you walk out of the movie, ask for your money back.  No problem
     there-- I've never had a problem getting a refund in that
     situation.  Complain *after* a film and, I think, you should get
     your money back as well. Regardless if the sound was bad or the
     movie was bad. After all, you can't adequately *judge* the product
     until you are finished. When the film does.

     Some theater managers disagree, including a person at the Theater I
     Think You Should Avoid.

     When *time* is involved-- from, say, a film break or a misprinted
     start time-- I think the management should *at least* offer a pass
     for a future feature. Some of the better theaters do.


V.  Which Witch is Which?


    For the best, overall Raleigh/Cary moviegoing experience, I'd go
    with

            - Pleasant Valley 7
            - First show Friday.  Which can be as early as noon!


    They have good seats, tasteful decor, and Ju-jy Fruits for $1.25.
    Pick out the green and black ones as you see fit.


Copyright 1994 by Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros