Greedy (1994)

"I didn't like the Beatles and I don't like you." - Phil Hartman to
Olivia d'Abo

GREEDY is a horribly excuted "ensemble" comedy about a band of
money-hungry cousins who will do *anything* to get their hands on their
rich Uncle's dough.

The story introduces Uncle Joe (Kirk Douglas), an eccentric millionaire
who's taken up with a sexy pizza-girl (Olivia d'Abo). His cousins have
been circling their bait for years and are, understandably, outraged. So
they call in Joe's favorite nephew, Danny (Michael J. Fox), to even the
balance.  But Danny has his own ideas about how to take care of Uncle
Joe.

GREEDY tries hard to walk a straight line between slapstick and serious.
But the tone is never correctly set. Even with footage of Jimmy Durante
over the opening credits. I don't care who you blame-- the bottom line
is a film full of people trying either to be too funny or too serious.

The deck's already stacked with a cast of lightweights.  I mean,
come-on, Nancy Travis?  Ed Begley Jr.?  Or Jack Benny-lookalike Phil
Hartman!?!  Fox is fun, but he still looks seventeen. Only Kirk Douglas
gets away with anything above acting. He has a large time growling and
groaning and leering and lying. Just listen to him deliver the line "I'm
richer than sh*t."

Just as the cast is uninteresting, so are the characters. The cousins
are all one-note cartoons and the central protagonist, Danny, is a
professional bowler!!  Who though that one up??

If nothing else, GREEDY certainly *looks* good-- but who cares about
production values in a film with uninteresting characters?  For that
matter, who cares about uninteresting characters?  Which is the problem:
when the jokes all-too-often go flat, there's very little to fall back
on.

As trying as the whole experience is, GREEDY has one genuine gut-buster
that comes toward the end. And it makes this mostly mediocre movie just
a little bit above okay.

CAMEO NOTE:  The director does a droll turn as Joe's butler. And watch
for still-alive Kevin McCarthy, who inexplicably appears as one of Joe's
lawyers.

BOTTOM LINE:  Horribly executed ensemble-comedy that tries to walk a
straight line between serious and slapstick.  Kirk Douglas is fun, but
the rest of the cast do much with their material.

Grade: C+

Copyright 1994 by Michael J. Legeros