Barb Wire (1996)

It's not every day that we get to see a reworking of CASABLANCA, 
much less one that (a.) is adapted from a comic book and (b.) stars 
Pamela Lee Anderson.  Ms. Anderson, a.k.a. "the Baywatch babe,"  
a.k.a. "you're looking rather buoyant this evening," plays the 
title character, a bounty-hunting bar owner who lives in a (near) 
future where civil war is being waged between the Nazi-looking 
Congressionals and the underground Resistance.  They all come to 
Barb's place, though, because she doesn't take sides.  That is, 
until a former lover-- and Resistance alley-- steps out of the past 
and into her bar.  Sound familiar?

There's more, of course, including a fat man who rides in a bucket 
loader, a pair of contact lenses that fool retina scans, and, oh 
yeah, a rocket-firing motorcycle.  (Trust me: it sounds more 
exciting than it is.)  BARB WIRE has a great "look," but director 
David Hogan doesn't deliver a decent action sequence until the end.  
And don't expect any Bogarts or Bergmans, either; most of the cast 
appears to have been hired for "assets" other than their acting 
abilities.  (Calm down guys, this stuff doesn't even qualify as 
*soft*-core porn.  Just cleavage cleavage cleavage and only the 
*occasional* peek behind curtains number one and two.)  No, there 
isn't much to this movie beyond the, uh, obvious, but if you love 
CASABLANCA, and you can stomach Pamela Lee's hissed-through-
clinched-teeth line readings, then this may be the matinee for you. 

Grade: D+

Copyright 1996 by Michael J. Legeros

Originally posted to triangle.movies as We'll Always Have Barb Wire