I'm Exhausted!

Does anyone else feel exhausted?  Halfway into the summer season 
and I am pooped!  Another double-dozen releases are due in the next 
eight weeks and I don't know *where* we're supposed to find the 
energy to enjoy them.  Thank goodness, I guess, that most of 'em 
are comedies.  The likes of KINGPIN, TIN CUP, A VERY BRADY SEQUEL, 
and Jon Lovitz starring in HIGH SCHOOL HIGH should go *long* way 
toward recharging our collective batteries.  (As should JACK, EMMA, 
JOE'S APARTMENT, TRAINSPOTTING, and Tom Arnold starring in THE 
STUPIDS.)  

Two months of hype, though, does make you wonder what would happen 
if Hollywood pooled its resources and released just *one* mega 
movie between May and June.  You could call it PHENOMENAL TWISTER:  
AN IMPOSSIBLE MISSION TO ERASE A NUTTY HUNCHBACK DRAGONSLAYER THAT 
STRIPTEASES ON INDEPENDENCE DAY.  Imagine the excitement!  You 
could play potluck and walk in without knowing which part of the 
movie you'd be seeing!  "Hey, did you like PHENOMENAL TWISTER?"  
"Yeah!  We saw both the storm sequence and the part where they 
raid the locked computer vault!"  "Really?  I walked in and back 
out during the topless sequence.  It sucked and I didn't even get 
a woody." 

Copyright 1996 by Michael J. Legeros

Originally posted in triangle.movies in MOVIE HELL: July 7, 1996