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Stanley Tucci's second film as a filmmaker, after co-writing and co-directing the delightful BIG NIGHT, is a manic, messy, and mar- vellously funny farce about a pair of poor actors (Tucci and Oli- ver Platt) whose Depression-era (mis)adventures go something like this: a scheme to get free food begets free theater tickets, where they watch a ham perform Hamlet, who they later fight in a bar, which sends them fleeing on foot, where they hide in a crate on a dock and awaken on a cruise ship about to set sail, where they disguise themselves as stewards, which doesn't work as their picture is on the front page of the newspaper. Got it? Also on board is the assaulted actor (Alfred Molina, a droll delight), plus another dozen-or-so colorful characters, including a Russian spy, a deposed Queen, a suicidal pop singer, and a pair of murder- intending con artists. Hilarity expectedly ensues, which translates into lots of running, shouting, and even a wee bit of cross-dressing. (Platt in pumps.) The stand-out supporting players are Campbell Scott (as a stiff German head steward), Billy Connolly (as a gay Scots sportsman), and the aforementioned Molina. Each has at least one side-split- ting bit. Stan and Ollie have chemistry to spare, with Platt the surprise scene-stealer. (Who knew he could be so funny?) Old- timey title cards and frantic music cues also add to the amuse- ment, even if the plotting gets increasingly sloppy as it goes. (And have you ever seen a shoddier example of pretend playing than during the big-band sequence? Oy.) You'll laugh, you'll look at your watch... With Steve Buscemi, Hope Davis, Allison Janney, Isabella Rossellini, Tony Shalhoub, and Lily Taylor, who actually appears in a dress! (Rated "R"/98 min.) Grade: B- Copyright 1998 Michael J. Legeros Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros