Left Behind (2000)

LEFT BEHIND, easily the year's easiest film to make fun of and get 
*flamed* for making fun of, is a low-rent, under-exciting, and, at 
times, entirely laughable adaptation of everybody's favorite bumper 
sticker:  "In case of rapture this car will be unmanned."  Already 
out on video, this earnestly played-and-then-some religious thril-
ler stars Kirk Cameron-- yes, Kirk Cameron-- as a grizzled, globe-
trotting, danger-facing network-news reporter.  And I have a bridge 
to sell you, too.  The former "Teen Beat" 'throb's in Jerusalem, on  
a science story, when the skies suddenly fill with really, really, 
really mean-looking airplanes.  (This immediately after an ominous-
but-enjoyably-scenic tour during the title credits.)  In poorly 
acted amazement, Cameron's character-- named "Buck," no less!-- 
watches as the sky turns black and the attacking jets inexplicably 
begin exploding in midair.  You know, raining proverbial fire from 
the proverbial heavens...  (Sounds sort of Biblical, no?)  Thus be-
gins (or continues, if you count the backstory) a series of events 
that'll leave News Boy agog again, this time when millions (mil-
lions?) of people around the world suddenly vanish.  Including all
"innocent" souls, e.g. children.  Seems those Devout-ists might 
have been onto something!

Later he'll be paired with Brad Johnson's airline pilot and fellow 
non-believer, who was airborne when It happened and whose passen-
gers expectedly freaked.  (Fly Boy has his own story, both an adul-
terer and, now, a widower with one less child.)  Together, they'll 
presumably investigate an international conspiracy that Cameron's 
character learned about earlier, involving a couple big-name bank-
ers.  (At least, I *think* that's what Kirk's informant was raving 
about.  Hard to tell with all those names...)  And all while (mild) 
chaos predictably ensues, with plenty of dazed looks, grieving par-
ents (usually dramatically embracing a baby carriage), and nearly 
everyone wondering just what the Heaven happened.  (Plus some sin-
ister-looking businessman who keeps making these sinister-sounding 
plans.  Hmmmmm.  Could it be... the Anti-Christ?)  Though a *world* 
more watchable than that *other* low-budget apocalyptic potboiler-- 
1999's howl-worthy though highly profitable THE OMEGA CODE-- this 
one has practically *none* of the spectacle that the premise sug-
gests.  No sturm, nor drang, nor cats and dogs sleeping together.  
Nope, not a single Cecil B. moment in sight.  Just lots and lots of 
abandoned vehicles, one bloody car accident, and government-ordered 
martial law for everyone.  I left after an hour and was the person 
seen subsequently standing outside the theater, bearing the sign 
"Boredom is Nigh!"  With Janaya Stephens, Chelsea Noble, Clarence 
Gilyard Jr., and Gordon Currie.  Based on the best-selling book se-
ries by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye.  (Rated "R"/108 min.)
Grade: W/O

Copyright 2000 by Michael J. Legeros
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Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros -Movie Hell™ is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros