Where The Heart Is (2000)

   
WHERE THE HEART IS, which sneaked on Saturday, is a soapy Okie un-
wed momma drama starring Natalie "Queen of the Naboo" Portman as a 
barefoot 'n' pregnant 'n' barely literate young lady who makes a 
small-town Wal-Mart her home after being abandoned on the road by 
her Californee-bound boyfriend.  For weeks she sneaks, in and out, 
open to close, until waking up one morning in the hospital, having 
delivered the night before on the floor of aisle six.  She also be-
comes an overnight media sensation and is showered with cards, 
cash, and the damnations of the religious right.  (Praise Jesus!)  
And so we watch her grow-- in smarts and skills and friendships 
with the various colorfully countrified townsfolk.  Like Stockard 
Channing's drawlin' "Welcome Woman."  (Love those hair extensions.)  
The story also keeps tabs on the baby's bio dad, yawn, and his mis-
adventures, first, as jail bait and, later, as an aspiring country 
singer/song-writer.  (Joan Cusack plays the Nashville Talent Agent 
From Hell.)  Though neither syrupy nor stunning in its execution, 
the film falters as the major melodramatic events-- baby-napping, 
tornado, etc.--  eventually fall into a predictable pattern.  And 
by that point, even Portman's luminescent presence isn't enough to 
keep things compelling.  That is, unless you're a chick.  I left at 
the ninety-minute mark...  

Grade: W/O

Copyright 2000 Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros 

Originally posted to triangle.movies as MOVIE HELL: Chicks and Flicks