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THE MEXICAN, sigh, is this week's walk-out, a staggeringly dull ro- mantic comedy slash bang-bang caper starring, though not really pairing, Brat Pitt and Julia Roberts. (Imagine if energy-starved California could tap *those* mega-watt smiles!) It's also the se- cond feature for director Gore Verbinski, the sly eye behind the "Budweiser Frogs" and the visually dazzling "Tom and Jerry"-inspired MOUSEHUNT. (Remember? Nathan Lane and Lee Evans??) Unfortunately, there's little eye-popping ingenuity-- much less laughter, or chem- istry, or... -- to this Southwestern adventure about a blank-faced mob putz (Pitt) whose previously botched errand is the reason he's in Mexico, retrieving an ancient pistole, which, of course, he imme- diately loses. It's also the reason his disapproving, live-in girl- friend (Roberts) isn't with him, but, instead, is on *her* way to Vegas. Where they were supposed to be going together. And where, en route, she's taken hostage by Someone Also Interested in Said Pistol. (The latter played by James Gandolfini, on hand to "quell funkiness.") So, while Pitt's character bumbles around below the border, Roberts and Gandolfini spend their time driving across the desert, talking about her relationship. (He's quite the counselor, his tough-guy!) Forty-five minutes later-- and with not a single thing having yet "happened"-- I left and got my money back. Wait for the video and then don't bother renting. (Rated "R"/123 min.) Grade: W/O Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros