The Year in Review - 1998

Wow what a great year at the movies... if you weren't too picky!  Oh, 
it was a wet dream on paper:  Godzilla remade; Zorro riding again; 
big-screen leaps by Lost in Space, the Avengers, and some show called 
the X-Files; Spike Lee, Joe Dante, Todd Solenz, and Terry Gilliam; 
Brothers Coen and Farrally; roomies Felix and Oscar; Ants versus 
bugs; tails versus 'roids; sequels to BABE, THE BLUES BROTHERS, and 
THE FUGITIVE; one more round for the LETHAL WEAPON gang; and even an 
animated Moses.  There were war flicks, witch flicks, chick flicks, 
and bio pics; books, plays, novels, and comics; arty indies, dandy 
documentaries, and a fair share of sleep-inducing imports.  Lots to 
like and, alas, far less to love.  Did *you* see ten Top-Ten worthy 
films in 1998?  I didn't.  Most every effort had at least one fatal 
flaw... or an ongoing error... or, more commonly, stumbled somewhere 
in the second hour.  No, I didn't see everything-- some were missed 
and some still haven't arrived, such as RUSHMORE, LITTLE VOICE, and 
THE GENERAL.  So maybe there's hope yet.  For now, I present a top
*five* list.  Maybe next year's will be longer...

 
      The Best                     The Worst
      --------                     ---------

   1. OUT OF SIGHT              1. KURT AND COURTNEY
   2. NEXT STOP, WONDERLAND     2. KNOCK OFF
   3. HILARY AND JACKIE         3. BLACK DOG
   4. GODS AND MONSTERS         4. DEEP RISING
   5. THE WIZARD OF OZ          5. PHANTOMS
      (reissue)

 
      Honorable Mention            Oy, Also
      -----------------            -------- 

    o A BUG'S LIFE               o SOLDIER
    o THE HORSE WHISPERER        o HARD RAIN
    o THE SPANISH PRISONER       o PALMETTO
    o THE TRUMAN SHOW            o PATCH ADAMS
    o SAVING PRIVATE RYAN        o NIGHTWATCH
      (beach sequence only)

 
      And, the Walk-Outs... 
      ---------------------

    o ALMOST HEROES              
    o FALLEN                     
    o HOPE FLOATS                
    o MEET JOE BLACK             
    o MR. JEALOUSY               
    o THE NEWTON BOYS
    o THE PARENT TRAP
    o PRACTICAL MAGIC
    o THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS
    o SIX STRING SAMURAI
    o TWILIGHT


Memories
========

 o Bloopers, A BUG'S LIFE
 o Laughing gas, LETHAL WEAPON 4
 o Beans and franks, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY
 o Mrs. Nixon takes a bath, PLEASANTVILLE

 o Stunt breasts, SLUMS OF BEVERLY HILLS
 o Stained sheets, YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
 o Exploding bellies, SPECIES II
 o Bathroom love, HENRY FOOL

 o "Cue the sun", THE TRUMAN SHOW
 o "Did you grab my ass?", A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY
 o "Suppose you're out in the woods...", PRIMARY COLORS
 o "Do you randomly assign grades to the movies you review?", Reader 
    Mail

 o Four more hours of TITANIC, Oscar Night
 o One hour and 48 minutes of screaming, GREASE
 o Everyone laughed but me, anything starring Adam Sandler
 o Everyone laughed but the other critics, THE ODD COUPLE II

 o Motorcycles that can outrun tidal waves, DEEP IMPACT
 o 727 meets road, then river, U.S. MARSHALS
 o Innovative use of a power tool, PI
 o Cat. Microwave. Nazi, APT PUPIL

 o Rob Schneider flogs Jean-Claude Van Damme with eel, KNOCK OFF
 o Patricia Arquette pulls fire alarm with mouth, NIGHTWATCH
 o Frank Langella forgets to tie bathrobe, LOLITA
 o Judy Davis demonstrates, CELEBRITY

 o "634-5789", BLUES BROTHERS 2000
 o Jean Reno's "American" accent, GODZILLA
 o Gwenyth Paltrow's neck, SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
 o Jeanne Tripplehorn's Psycho Mistress From Hell, SLIDING DOORS

 o Mixed Baby Greens Foreman: Wolfgang Puck, JANE AUSTEN'S MAFIA!
 o Sinead O'Conner as the Virgin Mary, THE BUTCHER BOY
 o Thandie Newton as Linda Blair, BELOVED
 o Steven Seagal as himself, MY GIANT

 o Featuring the voices of Spinal Tap, SMALL SOLDIERS


Copyright 1999 Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros     

Originally posted to triangle.movies as MOVIE HELL: The Year in Review