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                   MOVIE HELL: Summer Sneak Preview

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MOVIE HELL
==========

Weekly Rants and Pants by Michael J. Legeros
"If you can't say something nice, at least have something to say."


Contents
========

  - Introduction
  - The Dates  
  - Recently Reviewed


Introduction
============

Here's your summer preview, Take One.  Wide-releases only, with 
minimal cast 'n' credit listings and no b.o. predictions/reflec-
tions this time out.  The ever-changing dates were swiped from 
Cinematter (http://www.shreck.com) and checked against Eric Car-
ter's List of Upcoming Releases (http://home.dti.net/egcarter/
rel99.htm), the Internet Movie Database (http://us.imdb.com), and 
one or two official studio sites.  To those in the know, please 
lemme know what's not-so-right or wrong.  I'll update the Web copy 
once or twice before the season gets into swing.  See you in 
Hell...

 
This Dates
==========

Note: Wide-release only.

Updated:  07MAY99

Disclaimer: The following information may be wrong.


May 7

  o THE MUMMY (Uni)

    Period adventure remaking 1932 monster movie classic.  Brendan
    Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, and lotsa FX star.  Stephen    
    Sommers (DEEP RISING) writes and directs.


May 14

  o WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM (Fox)
    
    Star-studded rump romp, with Kevin Kline, Michelle Pfieffer, 
    Rupert Everett, Stanley Tucci, and Calista Flockhart.  Sophie    
    Marceau and David Strathairn also appear.  Michael Hoffman    
    (ONE FINE DAY) writes and directs.


May 19

  o STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE (Fox)

    Sci-fi flick from some guy named Lucas.  


May 21

  o THE LOVE LETTER (SKG)

    Romantic ensemble comedy starring Kate Capshaw, Ellen DeGen-
    eres, Tom Selleck, and Tom Everett Scott.  Gloria Stuart also 
    appears.  Peter Chan directs from Cathleen Schine's novel.


May 28

  o NOTTING HILL (Uni)

    Romantic comedy about a British bookstore owner (Hugh Grant)
    who meets an American movie star (Julia Roberts).  Roger Mich-
    ell (PERSUASION) directs.  

  o THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR (Sony)

    Sci-fi thriller about a parallel/virtual world.  Dean Devlin 
    and Roland Emmerich produce.  Craig Bierko, Vincent D'Onofrio, 
    Armin Mueller-Stahl, Gretchen Mol, and Dennis Haysbert star.  
    Josef Rusnak writes and directs from the novel SIMULCRON 3 by 
    Daniel F. Galouye.


June 4

  o INSTINCT (BV)

    Guy-who-used-to-live-with-gorillas thriller starring Anthony 
    Hopkins as the wild man and Cuba Gooding Jr. as his shrink.  
    Maura Tierney and Donald Sutherland also star.  Jon Turteltaub 
    (PHENOMENON) directs from Daniel Quinn's novel.

  o THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (MGM)

    Remake of 1968 bank-robbery actioner.  Pierce Brosnan, Denis 
    Leary, and Rene Russo star.  John McTiernan (DIE HARD, THE HUNT 
    FOR RED OCTOBER) directs.


June 11

  o AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME (New Line)

    Sequel starring Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Robert Wagner, Rob 
    Lowe, and numerous cameos.  Yeah, baby!  M. Jay Roach (AUSTIN
    POWERS) directs.                                           


June 18

  o TARZAN (BV)

    Animated adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' story.  Voice 
    credits include Tony Goldwyn, Minnie Driver, Brian Blessed,
    Wayne Knight, Nigel Hawthorne, Glenn Close, and Rosie O'Don-
    nell.  (As an ape?)  Phil Collins sings a couple songs.
                                                             

  o THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER (Para)

    Military murder mystery starring John Travolta, James Cromwell, 
    Timothy Hutton, Madeline Stowe, and James Woods.  Simon West
    (CON AIR) directs from Nelson DeMille's novel.


June 25

  o BIG DADDY (Sony)

    Adam Sandler strikes again, this time as a single adoptive 
    parent.  Oy.  Cole Sprouse and Joey Lauren Adams also appear.  
    Dennis Dugan (HAPPY GILMORE) directs.


June 30

  o SOUTH PARK:  BIGGER, LONGER, and UNCUT (Para)

    Adaptation of animated television series.
             

July 2

  o FIFTY VIOLINS (Miramax)

    Drama starring Meryl Streep as inspiring East Harlem music 
    teacher.  Gloria Esefan and Aidan Quinn also star.  Wes Craven 
    (SCREAM) directs of all people.

  o WILD, WILD WEST (WB)

    Update of television series, starring Will Smith as James T. 
    West and Kevin Kline as Artemus Gordon.  Salma Hayek also 
    appears and Kenneth Branaugh presumably overacts as the bad 
    guy.  Barry Sonnenfield (MEN IN BLACK) directs.


July 9

  o AMERICAN PIE (Uni)

    Teen sex comedy starring a bunch of people I've never heard of.
    Paul Weitz directs.

  o ARLINGTON ROAD (Sony)

    Next-door-neighbor-is-really-a-terrorist thriller starring Jeff
    Bridges and Tim Robbins.  Joan Cusack, Hope Davis, and Mason 
    Gamble also appear.  Mark Pellington directs.      

  o DICK (Sony)

    Political comedy about a pair of teens (Kirsten Dunst and Mich-
    elle Williams) hired as White House dog walkers during the Nix-
    on administration.  Dan Hedaya plays Checkers' dad.  Dan Foley, 
    Will Ferrell, and Harry Shearer (as G. Gordon Liddy!) also ap-
    pear.  Andrew Fleming (THE CRAFT) directs.
     
  o THE PRINCESS MONONOKE (Miramax)

    Animated adventure and highest grossing film in Japanese his-
    tory.  Voice credits (presumably re-dubbed) include Claire 
    Danes, Minnie Driver, and Gillian Anderson.        

  o STIGMATA (MGM)

    Religious drama starring Patricia Arquette, Jonathan Pryce, and 
    Gabriel Byrne.  Rupert Wainwright directs.

 
July 16

  o DROP DEAD GORGEOUS (New Line)

    Minnesota-set black comedy about a small-town beauty pageant.  
    Denise Richards, Kirsten Dunst, Ellen Barkin, and Kirstie Alley 
    star.  Michael Patrick Jann directs.  You betcha.

  o EYES WIDE SHUT (WB)

    Kidman.  Cruise.  Kubrick.     

  o LAKE PLACID (Sony)

    Action comedy about a mysterious death, a remote lake, and one 
    big-assed crocodile.  Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, 

  o THE WOOD (Para)

    Drama?  Comedy?  Three wedding guests reminisce about their 
    youth.  Jamie Foxx, Omar Epps, and Richard T. Jones star.  Todd 
    Boyd writes and directs.                    


July 23

  o BOWFINGER (Uni)

    Hollywood comedy about a producer (Steve Martin) chasing after   
    a star (Eddie Murphy).  Heather Graham, Christine Baranski, 
    Terence Stamp, Jamie Kennedy, and Robert Downey, Jr. also ap-
    pear.  Frank "Yodaman" Oz (IN AND OUT) directs.

  o THE HAUNTING (SKG)

    Update of THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, starring Liam Neeson, 
    Lili Taylor, Owen Wilson, and Catherine Zeta Jones.  Jan DeBont 
    (SPEED, TWISTER) directs.

  o INSPECTOR GADGET (BV)

    Update of animated television series starring Matthew Broder-
    ick.  Joely Fisher, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Dabney Coleman 
    also appear.  Rupert Everett (!) plays the villain.  David Kel-
    logg directs.


July 30

  o THE DEEP BLUE SEA (WB)

    Thriller about genetically engineered super-sharks.  Yikes!  
    Samuel L. Jackson, Stellan Skarsgard, LL Cool J, and Michael 
    Rapaport star.  Wayne Knight also appears.  Renny Harlin (DIE 
    HARD 2, CLIFFHANGER) directs.

  o FIGHT CLUB (Fox)

    Dark drama about young men who fight.  Brad Pitt, Edward Nor-
    ton, and Helena Bonham Carter (!) star.  Meatloaf and Jared 
    Leto also appear.  David Fincher (SEVEN, THE GAME) directs from 
    Chuck Palahniuk's novel.

  o MUPPETS FROM SPACE (Sony)

    AKA The Puppet Menace.  Human actors include Jeffrey Tambor, F. 
    Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Andie Macdowell, and "Hollywood" 
    Hogan.

  o OUTSIDE PROVIDENCE (Miramax)

    Prep school comedy starring Alec Baldwin, George Wendt, Sara 
    Gilbert, and Shaw Hatosy.  Michael Corrente (AMERICAN BUFFALO) 
    directs from Peter Farrelly's novel.

  o RUNAWAY BRIDE (Para)

    Romantic comedy re-teaming PRETTY WOMAN partners Julia Roberts, 
    Richard Gere, and director Garry Marshall.  Joan Cusack and 
    Hector Elizondo also appear. 

  o SUMMER OF SAM (BV)

    Spike Lee's latest, a Bronx-based drama set during the Son of 
    Sam murders.  Cast includes John Leguizamo, Anthony LaPaglia,  
    Mira Sorvino, Jennifer Esposito, John Savage, Bebe Neuwirth,  
    Michael Badalucco, Michael Rispoli, and Patti LuPone.  Phew!

  o THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (Artisan)

    Low-budget "psychological thriller" about a trio of film stu-
    dents in search of the supernatural.  Eduardo Sanchez and Dan-
    iel Myrick wrote and directed.


August 6

  o IRON GIANT (WB)

    Animated adaptation of Ted Hughes' children's book about a 
    large robot and a little kid.  Voice credits include Harry Con-
    nick Jr, Jennifer Aniston, Christopher MacDonald, John Mahoney, 
    M. Emmet Walsh, and Cloris Leachman.                               

  o MR. ACCIDENT (Goldwyn)

    Yahoo Serious (remember him?) writes, directs, and stars as an 
    accident-prone employee.  Comedy.
     
  o MYSTERY MEN (Uni)

    Adaptation of Dark Horse comic book starring Ben Stiller, Hank 
    Azaria, William H. Macy, Paul Reubens, Wes Studi, Janeane Garo-
    falo and Kel Mitchell as low-rent superheroes.  Geoffrey Rush 
    (!) plays the villain.  Tom Waits and Lena Olin also appear.  
    Kinka Usher directs.
 
  o THE NINTH GATE (Artisan)

    Supernatural thriller about a rare demonic text.  (Aren't they 
    always?)  Johnny Depp stars.  Ol' Roman Polanski writes and  
    directs, from Arturo Perez-Reverte's novel.
 
  o PLUNKETT & MACLEANE (Gramercy)

    Period drama about crime in the 18th century.  Robert Carlyle, 
    Jonny Lee Miller, and acclaimed classical actress Liv Tyler 
    star.  Alan Cumming, Michael Gambon, Claire Rushbrook and Ken 
    Stott also appear

  o THE YARDS (Miramax)

    Drama about corruption in the New York City subway industry.
    James Gray (LITTLE ODESSA) directs Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin 
    Phoenix, Charlize Theron, Faye Dunaway, Ellen Burstyn, and 
    James Caan.  Now that's a cast!


August 13

  o BROKEDOWN PALACE (Fox)
 
    Westerners-thrown-into-Eastern-prison drama starring Claire 
    Danes and Kate Beckinsale.  Bill Pullman and Lou Diamond Phil-
    lips also appear.  Jonathan Kaplan (BAD GIRLS) directs.

  o DETROIT ROCK CITY (New Line)

    Edward Furlong, Natasha Lyonne, James DeBello and Sam Hunting-
    ton as four teens willing to do *anything* to attend a 1978 
    KISS concert.  Paul Stanley and Company play themselves.  Adam 
    Rifkin directs.

  o MICKEY BLUE-EYES (WB)

    Comedy starring Hugh Grant as a guy about to be married to the 
    mob.  Jeanne Tripplehorn plays the fiancee; James Caan is the 
    Dad to Be.  Kelly Makin (BRAIN CANDY) directs.

  o THE THIRTEENTH WARRIOR (BV)

    Long-delayed adaptation of Michael Crichton's Norse-era adven-
    ture.  Antonio Banderas, Diane Venora, and Omar Sharif stars; 
    John McTiernan (DIE HARD, THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER) directs. 
    Potential Suck Factor (PSF): 228.
                                          

August 20

  o BLUE STREAK (Sony)
 
    Comedy about a "gentleman thief" posing as a cop to retrieve 
    his stash.  Martin Lawrence stars.   Luke Wilson, Dave Chap-
    pelle, Peter Greene, and Tamala Jones also appear.  Les May-
    field (FLUBBER) directs.

  o TEACHING MRS. TINGLE (Dimension)

    High school thriller about a girl willing to do *anything* to 
    become valedictorian.  Katie Holmes and Helen Mirren (!) star.
    Jeffrey Tambor, Lesley Ann Warren, and Molly Ringwald also 
    appear.  Screenwriter Kevin Williamson (SCREAM) makes his di-
    recting debut.

  o THE MUSE (October)

    Albert Brooks' latest, about a screenwriter who discovers a 
    real live muse (Sharon Stone, of course) living in L.A.  Jeff 
    Bridges and Andie Macdowell also appear.


August 27

  o THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE (New Line)

    Thriller about an astronaut who returns from space a changed 
    man.  (Don't they always?)  Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron 
    star.  Joe Morton, Tom Noonan, Blair Brown, and Nick Cassavetes   
    also appear.  Rand Ravitch (CANDYMAN II) writes and directs.

  o HOOF BEATS (Sony)

    Horse tale.  Chase Moore and Arie Verveen star.  Jean-Jacques 
    Annaud writes.  Sergei Bodrow directs.

  o IN TOO DEEP (Miramax)

    Young-cop-on-undercover-assignment drama starring Omar Epps, 
    Stanley Tucci, and LL Cool J star.  Pam Grier also appears.  
    Michael Rymer directs.

  o MAD ABOUT MAMBO (Gramercy)

    Irish drama about soccer balls and dancing shoes.  Yawn.  
    William Ash and Gabriel Byrne star.  John Forte directs.

  o UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, THE RETURN (Sony)

    Sequel starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.  Bill Goldberg, Daniel 
    Von Bargen, Michael Jai White and Heidi Scanz also appear.    
    Stunt coordinator Mic Rodgers (PAYBACK, LETHAL WEAPON 4) 
    directs.  Um, no thanks.
                          

Recently Reviewed
=================

COOKIE'S FORTUNE              : B-
EXISTENZ                      : B
GO                            : B+
GOODBYE LOVER                 : B-
LIFE                          : W/O
LOST AND FOUND                : D+
THE MATRIX                    : B-
PUSHING TIN                   : W/O
TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU   : B-
TWIN DRAGONS                  : C+

Copyright 1999 Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros

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Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros -Movie Hell™ is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros