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                    Letters to Hell - July 1999

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Contents
========

  o Balls!
  o Guts
  o Dr. Feelgood
  o The Worst Idea Since...
  o A More Subtle Study
  o Passes
  o Curses
  o More Things That Don't Suck
 

Balls!
======

[ From: Mack ]
[ Re: SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER, AND UNCUT ]

> > Grade: B
>  
> Hmmmm.  It sounds funnier than a kick in the nuts... but not by 
> much.


Guts
====

[ From: Mary in Cary ]
[ Re: THREE SEASONS ]

> Did you get a chance to see this film with Harvey Keitel, filmed 
> in Vietnam?  If only Hollywood had the guts to produce films like 
> this!


Dr. Feelgood
============

[ From: Bonnie in Mebane ]
[ Re: PATCH ADAMS ]

> I almost passed up this one because of your D rating, but I'm 
> glad my hopelessly romantic Robin Williams fan side won out.  
> This movie just plain made me feel good. 

[ Never trust a critic... ]


The Worst Idea Since...
=======================

[ From: Mark ]
[ Re: WILD WILD WEST ]
 
> > Will Smith as Cleavon Little in an update of BLAZING SADDLES?  
> > I could see it...
> > 
> I don't believe Mel Brooks would go for it, thankfully.  It would 
> be the worst idea since making a movie out of the "Wild, Wild, 
> West" television series... oops.


A More Subtle Study
===================

[ From: Sybil in Torquay ]
[ Re: THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER ]

> > Grade: C
> 
> I agree with your review.  I enjoyed the book and was looking 
> forward to the movie, but it was a huge disappointment.  Just 
> about every violent scene or testosterone-charged action sequence 
> was made up for the movie!  The book was a more subtle study of 
> character and justice.  

[ At least James Woods was fun. ]


Passes
======

[ From: Cindy in Cary ]

> At a sneak preview the other night, I overhead that you had 
> passes to BLAIR WITCH.  I just got mine in the mail and, as
> I've only done this thing a couple times, I was wondering if
> you had any advice on when to arrive.  The other night I was 
> there an hour early, but I'm worried that the advance buzz on 
> BWP will generate a big crowd.  Any suggestions/words of ex-
> perience?

[ In the summer, at least a half-hour is advisable.  Maybe even
  a full hour, if the Hype Factor (HF) is high.  Bring a book,
  knitting, etc.  I'll give you something to do *and* cut down 
  on the noise. ]


Curses!
=======

[ From: Adrienne ]
[ Re: DEEP RISING]

> You are stupid.  DEEP RISING is the best movie, especially when I 
> have a 40-inch TV and six 90-watt speakers in my playroom.

[ From: Kevin ]
[ Re: PATCH ADAMS ]

> Your review of the movie sucks.  If you didn't like it, you must
> really suck as a human being.

[ From: Don ]
[ Re: ARMAGEDDON ]

> ARMAGEDDON sure as Hell deserves a better rating than "C+".  It 
> deserves an "A+".  Go to Hell.

[ From: Lorna ]
[ Re: KURT AND COURTNEY ]

> I'm totally disgusted with what you said about Kurt Cobain as the 
> "dead guy with all the marbles in his mouth."  That is so out of
> order.  

[ Thanks, all, for reading! ]


More Things That Don't Suck
===========================

[ From: Brian ]
[ Re: THE PHANTOM MENACE: 50 THINGS... ]

> Excellent list.  It's funny, when you point out all of the little 
> things you realize just how charming, funny, exciting, and 
> delightful this movie actually is.  I loved it and plan on seeing 
> it a third time.

[ From: Vicki ]

>  How about:
>
>  o The rolling hellions with the force fields.
>  o The ship that gets blasted as it leaves the Naboo hanger 
>  o The waterfalls
>  o The orange handmaiden costumes
>  o Pernilla August
>  o "Monsters out there, no power in here, and yousa don't think 
>     we in trouble?" 
>  o The Jedis and JJB entering the underwater city.
>  o Liam Neeson's face.
>  o Natalie Portman's eyes.
>  o The sound after the ending credits.
>  o The view from the Jedi Counsel's meeting room.
>  o The fierce and frightening burst of anger/hatred coming from 
>    Obi Wan as he charges Darth Maul when the force field comes 
>    down. I suspect the Emperor would have been pleased.
>  o The unique way Jabba "bangs the gong."
>  o Mace Windu's nifty viewing screen.
>  o JJB's numb tongue.
>  o R2 and C3PO's bonding over JJB's "oddness."
>  o "I'm not going in there with 2 Jedi Knights!" 

[ From: Hung ]

>  o Darth Maul's speed bike.
>  o Battle droid on speed bike.
>  o Darth Maul's Light Saber.
>  o Warwick's cameo appearance. 
>  o Anakin "I'm gonna be the first one to see them all"
>  o Watto "I hope you didn't kill anyone I know huh"
>  o Yoda pacing in front of Obiwan.

[ From: J. ]

>  o Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's light sabers appearing out of the gas
>  o The way they destroy droids by deflecting shots from other 
>    droids
>  o R2-D2 on the outside as the Queen's ship speeds pass the 
>    blockade
>  o Qui-Gon's composure vs. Maul's when separated by shield
>  o Instantly resuming the fight when the shield opens  
>  o The sadness in Queen Amidala's eyes

[ From: T Rabbit ]

>  o "...and you will die much sooner than they, I am afraid." 
>  o "Mind tricks don't work on me, only money!"

[ From: Brian ] 

>  o Tuskan raiders taking pot shots at the pod racers?
>  o Tee-dee-dee!

[ From: Chris ] 

>  o Mrs. Jabba the Hutt


[ And lemme tell ya, she was *one* sexy babe! 

  Good night everybody... ]


Copyright 1999 by Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros