This month, the worst firefighting jokes ever written. These
were crafted entirely by Yours Truly, so please direct all
vegetables in my direction.
Rim shots not included.
Why did the fire apparatus operator have his blood drawn?
For a pump panel.
Where does a nozzle sleep?
On a hose bed.
What did the Dalmatian say at the airport fire station?
What is the material inside a firefighter's parka?
What do you call a group of PIOs standing by at a fire
What do you a call a fire-resistant gangster?
How do firefighting elephants communicate?
Why did the firefighter perform a lively Scottish Highland
dance while pulling a one-inch line?
His captain asked for a booster reel.
Did you hear Smokey Bear has been replaced by a female
Only ewe can prevent forest fires.
Did you hear about the firefighter who was rejected from his
department's talent show?
He was axed.
Did you hear about the D.C. firefighters who answered a
medical call at the office of the Senate Majority Leader?
They were Frist responders.
There was a terrible fire at Tara, the plantation where
Scarlett O'Hara lived. Though many items were destroyed, quite
a few things were saved. Firefighters rescued several books,
which they later helped carry back into the building. Ms.
O'Hara wanted the salvaged books placed on a pile of items
belonging to Mr. Butler. She told them to put the read stuff on
the Rhett stuff.
So this firefighter had a Dalmatian that was always
getting loose at the station and running into the street. This
was only a problem during the day, as the station doors were
closed at night. And as the station was the only building on
the block, drivers always saw the dog in time. One morning,
however, a heavy mist had settled across the area and the
drivers didn’t see the spotted dog when he darted out of the
station. He died and the grieving firefighter forever
remembered that day whenever the weather conditions repeated
themselves. He even gave it a name. It was… wait for it… Sparky
the dire fog.
That's it for me! Good night everybody!
Note: A version of this column originally appeared at
Code 3 Collectibles.
Copyright 2017 by Michael J. Legeros